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Justin

[ website | My bands webpage ]
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I Just Need A Landfill For My Emotions [08 Mar 2015|10:49pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Days like this are hard. I've come a long way in a short time. I've gained weight, and not just weight, but muscle. I'm on my way to being as good of a drummer as I've ever been. I'm writing songs I'm really proud of. I learned to ride a bike. I'm learning new things every day. Most importantly, I'm learning to believe in myself, no matter what. After all this, there's still a long way to go. I'm still fragile and a little lost. I can put my body through the ringer and my mind seems strong enough to keep it going, but when my mind is tired everything else falls apart. There's a lot to look forward to in the next few months and I lot I want to accomplish. Days like today though, I find myself tired, without any real motivation at all. I just want to lay in bed, watch tv, and relax. When I do, though, my mind runs wild. I want to love. In my self discovery, that's been going on longer than the events of the past couple months, I decided the meaning in my life is love. To really take part in the experience of being alive and find beauty where I can. It's these times alone when my heart wants to feel that love someone shares with me. I know I don't need it and I don't just want to fill the void, but the unrequited love I do have makes me insecure. Every now and then you just need validation, and I think on days like this I really do want someone to make me feel special, loved. I know I have a lot of great people around that support me and are there for me. I just don't want to become someones chore. I know I just have to fight through these days. These feelings won't last forever and everything will work out. Sometimes, though, I just wish the light would come sooner than expected. There's still a journey ahead of me, but I'm ready to find out what the next chapter of my life holds.

I Wanna Be A Bear

Check It [02 Feb 2009|08:26pm]
Test... Is this this on? So, is anyone still up in this. Hit me up so I know your around. Later.
I Wanna Be A Bear

Remember... [20 Nov 2008|08:54pm]












I Wanna Be A Bear

[09 Apr 2008|01:17pm]
You make me crazy in every sense of the word. I'm crazy and I scream for your attention trapped behind this horrid wallpaper. I'm going crazy trapped behind these bars that separate your world from mine as I wait for redemption. I'm crazy and i just cant sleep like a young Brittany Spears. Don't be so quick to give away you heart, that as my mistake and mine alone.
I Wanna Be A Bear

Untitled [14 Aug 2007|09:14pm]
One month to make up for one year of sleep
Six years To catch up with the sweat of Twenty
Four beats that can fill with countless possibility
Two sticks that make ideas become reality

One day to prove what I've done with hundreds
Three minutes to sum up all of my accomplishments
Six eyes to watch and decide what my worth is
Nine people that could bury me if I ever lose my focus

No words can describe this heightened sense of nervous
Zero thoughts outside of what my dream is
Nothing more I can do but prepare for this
One month and I will make the best of it
I Wanna Be A Bear

Simpsons [29 Jul 2007|12:58am]
[ mood | Alone ]

It's all about the simpsons this week. Went to the Kwik-E-Mart, watched the movie... TWICE! I don't feel like writing right now though so you will have to hear about it later. oh well. Later... Bye.

I Wanna Be A Bear

yo! [16 Jul 2007|06:51pm]
Haven't updated in a while.

Went to warped your. It was awesome. Saw Plus-44. They rock. Hope to see Jimmy eat World and Incubus soon. That would be excellent. "If you don't know, honey, why'd you just say so?
Cause I need this now more than I ever did. We once walked out on the beach and once I almost touched your hand. Oh how I dreamed to finally say such things then only to pretend." "I think I was dreaming up some thoughts that were seemingly possible...with you. So I call you on the tin can phone. We rendezvous at a quarter-two, and make sure we're alone. I think I've found a way for you and I to finally fly free."

I have a bunch of recording gear and have been recording with the band.

The meaning of life is love. Maybe not the love between a man and a woman. It can also be like the love for a man and a fine Cuban cigar. You live your life to love. For those of you religious types you can agree that God did infact put us here to love and serve him. Some people will always be searching for that person to love. Some people will strive for the dreams that they love so much. Passion, thats what life is about.

If you haven't heard +44 yet do so soon. They are rad. "The Past is only the future with the lights on". The Descendents also rock. Get the album Cool To Be You or Everything Sux. Both great albums.
"If it was for me,
I thought it would come so easy.
Never realized, lifes just a series of lows and highs.
I just want to create, it doesnt matter how i do it.
Nobody ever said thats theres nothing to it.

Goosebumps been gone, for way to long.

Couldnt get it for free, couldnt do it for the money.
It just disapeared, spent alot of bearin years.
and if it doesnt work out, you can just set it down for later.
Nobody ever said you'd be dead forever.

Goosebumps been gone, for way to long.
Who knows how long, they'll stick around.

If it was for me, i thought it would come so easy.
Never realized, lifes just a series of lows and highs.
Couldnt get it for free, didnt wanna have to try and do it.
Nobody ever said, that theres nothing to it.

Goosebumps been gone, for way to long
Who knows how long, they'll stick around
Goosebumps been gone, for way to long
Who knows how long, they'll stick around

Please stick around."
2 Bears| I Wanna Be A Bear

[02 May 2007|08:28am]
We held hands on the last night on earth. Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees, screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves. It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated along the bottom of the river. So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea and the shattered seasons lay, and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease. In our cancer of passion you said, "Death is a midnight runner." The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide. We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress. The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop. The few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime. I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked if you would accompany me in a quick fall, but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't good for two. I rode alone. You said, "The cinders are falling like snow." There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty, bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence. Of blue and grey. Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city. The sun has stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines. Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward, and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched into the earth like a message.
1 Bear| I Wanna Be A Bear

[25 Apr 2007|02:36pm]
"Chapter XIII"

And my heart hangs from this noose
Like your footsteps in crowded rooms
Filled with sweet scents of autumn blooms
Is this what you imagine?

Catch a glimpse from her empty stare
Hidden eyes behind her auburn hair
Catch my breath for the smoke to clear
And it's just as it should be

My best-laid plans
Will build and break your heart
Her guilty hands
Tear my whole world apart
My mind keeps racing
She's softly dreaming
I'm scraped and sober
But there's no one listening

And we'll wake up in vacant rooms
Pull you close to my aching skin
Broken glass on the porcelain
Is this what you imagine?

We'll forget what we used to say
And our lives won't mean anything
Pull me close as I drift away
And it's just as it should be

My best-laid plans
Will build and break your heart
Her guilty hands
Tear my whole world apart
My mind keeps racing
She's softly dreaming
I'm scraped and sober
But there's no one listening

And we'll both take our revenge
But we still won't feel any better
And we both take our revenge
But we still don't feel any better

And we'll both take our revenge
But we still won't feel any better
And we both take our revenge
But we still don't feel any better
And we'll both take our revenge
But we still won't feel any better
And we both take our revenge
But we still don't feel any better

I'm scraped and sober, but there's no one listening
I'm scraped and sober, but there's no one listening
I'm scraped and sober, but there's no one listening (feel any better)
I'm scraped and sober, but there's no one listening to me at all




If you don't know who plus 44 is you dont know whats up
I Wanna Be A Bear

I Just Want To Make You Smile [29 Mar 2007|12:36am]
"Make You Smile"

The last time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn't see you with the sun shining in my eyes
I said "Hello" but you kept on walking
I'm going deaf from the sound of the freeway

The last time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn't hear with your voice ringing in my ears
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away

The first time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn't see you with the smoke getting in my eyes
I said "Hello" but you kept on walking
I'm going deaf from the sound of the DJ

The first time I saw you, you turned away
I couldn't hear with the noise ringing in my ears
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away

I don't, don't wanna take you home
Please don't, don't make me sleep alone
If I could, I'd only want to make you smile
If you were to stay with me a while

The next time I see you, you'll turn away
I'll say "Hello" but you'll keep on walking
The next time you see me, I'll turn away
Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?
I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away

I don't, don't wanna take you home
Please don't, don't make me sleep alone
If I could, I'd only want to make you smile
If you were to stay with me a while

I don't, don't wanna take you home
Please don't, don't make me sleep alone
If I could, I'd only want to make you smile
If you were to stay with me a while
1 Bear| I Wanna Be A Bear

[20 Dec 2006|03:52am]
"Little Death"

Please sleep, my darling, sleep
Your cry for inspiration
Never reaches ears on distant stars
And every night our lonely planet
Slides across the universe
And I won't pretend I understand

Please sleep, my darling, sleep
Your death by information
Won't disturb the peace on distant stars
And even when you lock the doors
And slide behind the unlit shades
None of us are strangers anymore

Fall asleep with the windows open
Come to me with the worst you've said and done
You'll close your eyes and see me
A little death makes life more meaningful
I stand no chance at all

Please, sleep my darling, sleep
Your car crash in slow motion
Won't upset the pace on distant stars
And one by one the years of our lives
Stumble as the moments pass
So please hold on, so please hold on

So fall asleep with the windows open
Come to me with the worst you've said and done
You'll close your eyes and see me
A little death makes life more meaningful
I stand no chance at all

Please, sleep my darling, sleep
Please, sleep my darling, sleep

So fall asleep with the windows open
Come to me with the worst you've said and done
You'll close your eyes and see me
A little death makes life more meaningful
I stand no chance at all
I Wanna Be A Bear

[19 Dec 2006|03:17am]
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Hey, Somewhat Legal is playing South Padre Island at 10:00 pm friday night. Come check it out. This show is gonna be huge.

There are also discounted rooms at the Bahia Mar for the event.
I Wanna Be A Bear

[26 Oct 2006|10:56pm]
"No It Isn't"

Please understand
This isn't just goodbye
This is I can't stand you
This is where the road crashed into the ocean
It rises all around me
And now I'm barely breathing
A thousand faces, we'll choose to ignore

Curse my enemies forever
Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation leaves me overjoyed ...
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy

I listen to you cry
I cry for less attention
But both my hands are tied
And I'm pushed into the deep end
I listen to you talk but talk is cheap
And my mouth is filled with blood
From trying not to speak
So search for an excuse
And someone to believe you
In foreign dressing rooms
I'm empty with the need to

Curse my enemies forever
Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation is leaving me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy

Curse my enemies forever
Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation is leaving me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy

Please understand

They're running where I fall
I'm dead from bad intentions
Suffocated and embalmed
And now all our dreams are cashed in
Swore you wouldn't lose then lost your brain
You make a sound that feels like pain

So please understand
This isn't just goodbye
This is I can't stand you
I Wanna Be A Bear

All I Wanted For Chirstmas Is The One Thing I Can't Have [26 Dec 2005|02:19am]
[ mood | cold ]

Amazing...

How fast a year can go by...wow

Just one year ago, I remember everything. I remember car rides home making sence of things.

So perfectly I remember the melting snow and ice hanging from street signs chirstmas morning.

I'm losing a fight against the memory game. I cant... I dont want to let go. I don't care if they are real or not. I just thank God they showed up at all. These black periods are just part of my illness. My memories are all I have left. In them everythings always darker, emptier, and simpler. What am I saying? I have the courage to have them. Two-thirty in the morning... this sucks.

-Justin

I Wanna Be A Bear

Alone This holiday [24 Dec 2005|10:04pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Intro:
I'm seeing snow for the second year on this holiday
But this time its not falling in the same way
As it lands on my lips its so icy and cold
And this time your not here for me to hold
Maybe you found yourself a beautiful christmas scene
Somewhere far, your so far away from me

Verse:
Light a candle and stay warm benith the christmas sky
I'm alright, I swear I'll be, yeah I'll be just fine
I hope you got a kiss beneith the misletoe
And got everything you could ever wish for

Chorus:
All I want for chistmas is a christmas like last year
Scared to death listening to you whisper in my ear
Come on, follow me, lets get out of here lets go
Hold me now and we'll melt into the snow

Verse:
The snow flakes are now falling like memories
No matter how far I run they will be following
The one thing I want, I know santa cant bring
I guess tonight theres no hope of you and me
This white christmas is suprisingly bleak
I'd give you a call if I could bring myself to speak
But I know your warm and your happy
I'll just keep how much this hurts me


MVM (Monuments Against Misery) has a new song, as shown above. I thought in the chirstmas spirit I would give everyone a little taste of what the future has in store. This music is very personal to me so I've taken on the weight of the world to make something truely beautiful. I've started putting the album together already. Its a slow process but with everything I do I am a step closer in finishing this process. There are times when I completely trash songs or music or lyrics or whatever but thats only a step to produce something amazing, and give that one person the greatest feeling in the world when they turn this shit up to 10.

Happy Holidays...

-Justin

I Wanna Be A Bear

The Breaking Point of The Cracked Boy [30 Nov 2005|03:19pm]
[ mood | blank ]

...I'm killing myself living this way...

this must be it
welcome to the new year
the drinks were consumed
the plants were destroyed and the hor'deurves dismantled
i'm not smiling behind this fake veneer
i am often interrupted or completely ignored
but most of all i'm bored
i'm trying to find out if my words have any meaning
lackluster and full of contempts when it always ends the same
why won't you listen to me
why did i come
oh why did i come here
these humans all suck
i'd rather be home feeling violent and lonely
i'm not trying to sound so insincere
but the postcard that's taped to the freezer reads "wish you were here"
how i wish i could disappear
i'm trying to find out if my words have any meaning
lackluster and full of contempts and it always ends the same
heads up
damage control
there's a ring around her finger
last chance for changing lanes and you missed it by a mile
why won't you listen to me
this must be it
welcome to the new year

I Wanna Be A Bear

Here We Go Again.... [29 Nov 2005|04:37pm]
[ mood | busy ]

This is crazy. Things are just taking off. I've got so many ideas. I figured out how I want to write a large portion of the album. I've got a lot of images in my head for songs. Everything seems to inspire me. It seems like every second a new idea starts taking shape in my head. I'm taking things slow. I'm allowing myself to explore each and every idea and really take notice to everything that happens in my mind. It's a slower process which is kind of a bummer, but don't think of it as a set back so much as a heated anticipation of great things to come. Let me clear one thing up. This isn't some depressing emo thing. It's given me a feeling of liberation, excitement, and goose bumps. Some of the music is sad, yes, but its also strong and heroic... You'll just have to wait.

"Next To You" -Matt Skiba
You're walking the thin line
Between here and out of control
You kept me in mind
You got the paper cuts to prove it
Your sea sick smile
Screams sweet nausea
'76 was a good year for me
It's been uphill since then
Don't cry or stop to wonder why
We crashed out the thunder
On the floor down from the ceiling
It was nice waking up next to you
Then you crossed the line
Between here and out of this world
You blow my mind
Like a colt '45 every time
Don't cry or stop to wonder why
We crossed out our thunder
On the floor down from the ceiling
It's been nice waking up next to you
Don't cry or stop to wonder why
We crossed out our thunder
On the floor down from the ceiling
It's been nice waking up next to...
You...
And our sea sick smiles
Screaming home sweet home.

-Justin MVM

I Wanna Be A Bear

I Was Saved By Grace But Destroyed By Nimiety [29 Nov 2005|01:30am]
[ mood | Desperate ]

WHERE ARE YOU!? What the hell is wrong with me. I'm going insane. Its coming out at every pour. I can't hold this in anymore. Like an old damn under too much pressure I'm cracking. My walls are crumbling and I'm about to unleash something unpredictable. I don't know what it is. I need to see you, talk to you, stare at you lost in thought. PLEASE. This is an emergency. Call me. Let me know you'll be sleeping sound tonight. Ley me know I'm not the only one thinking about this. This is the strangest excitement. This shouldn't be about how we say goodbye.

-Justin, MVM

I Wanna Be A Bear

UPDATE #3 [23 Nov 2005|03:00pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

So I guess my livejournal is now basicly one about my new side project. I'm really excited. I promis that I will give every talent I have of myself to make some fucking amazing music. Hell, I'll even learn some new talents to debut on the record. I'm still trying to decide whether or not I only want drums or not. For sure there will be guitar (electic? not sure yet) bass, perhaps some piano, bells, and whatever else I can think of.

I started working on the first song a few days ago. The guitar parts are coming along nicely and the lyrics seem to be flowing well. Last night I started working on the music for another song but I'm still trying to decide on how I want to phrase the guitar parts. I have an idea for the way I want one of the songs to work but I'm not sure if this is that song yet or not.

Theres a lot of indecisiveness still on my part. It's mainly because of availability. The equitment I have to work with is very limited so thats really my only concern as far as putting all the instraments I want to on any given song, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.

I think Monuments Against Misery(MAM) will stick. I got a better response from that name. Heres some of the songs titles I've been working on: The Best of My Worst Feelings, The Last Tears Spilled, Like The Ones At The End of A Senior Year, The Accident, Little Empty Bottle. Well thats all I have for you right now. I'll try and get that first song arranged so I can start recording A.S.A.P

-Justin

I Wanna Be A Bear

Things To Come... [21 Nov 2005|05:21pm]
[ mood | creative ]

I've been working really hard lately. From writing lyrics to getting music in order, things have been crazy. I'm still debating on the name... help me out

VOTE:
1) Monuments Against Misery
2) Monuments Against Existentialism

I dunno. I'm hoping I can have an acustic song out by the end of this week but we will see.

AFFECTION... Love is destruction and we'll all come to meet the wrecking ball some day... The only reason I'm still standing is because your running just a little bit late... Anxiety is the look in your eyes as you descreatly lick your lips... Because we couldnt help but to indulge in eachothers kiss...

Expect melody... Expect emotion... Expect, greatness.

-Justin

1 Bear| I Wanna Be A Bear

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